Personal Development Plans

January 15, 2010

Why You Must Set Goals to Improve your Self-Esteem

Filed under: Development Plans — Tags: , , , , , , , — admin @ 10:20 am

What are goals and why do we need them. Goals are targets for you to reach, things for you to aim for, obstacles for you to overcome or a destination for you to reach. Why are they important? Read on and find out.

How can you reach a destination if you don’t know what or where it is. Imagine living in the USA and wanting to get to England but you have no idea where England is, you don’t even know that you need to take a boat or a plane to get there because you’ve never even heard of England before.

How hard would it be to reach this destination? I’d say near to impossible wouldn’t you? You may stumble on it through shear luck. Maybe you wondered into an airport one day and saw the flight information on the screen but the odds on this are slim to none. This is why goals are so important.

To have a real goal you must have a plan. You must know where you’re going, how you’re going to get there and most importantly why you want to reach the goal in the first place. We’ve already dealt with the first one, you can’t reach a destination if you don’t know where you’re going.

The only part we haven’t dealt with is how specific your goals need to be. ‘I want to make lots of money’ isn’t good enough. ‘I want to make 1 million dollars in the next five years’. Now that’s the type of goal you want to be setting. It’s specific, punchy and straight to the point.

Secondly you need a plan. This doesn’t need to be too specific at first as it will constantly change throughout the process of reaching your goal. It’s like a boat cruising across the open water. On it’s way to it’s destination it is off course about 90 percent of the time and it makes minuscule changes all the way to it’s final port. Just like you’ll make changes to your plan on the way to reaching your goal

You may even find that half way to reaching your goal the destination itself will change, either slightly or become an entirely different goal altogether.

Finally the most important part. You must know why you want to reach your goal. If you don’t know this, if you don’t have a strong enough reason for accomplishing your goal then your chances of success are greatly reduced. It needs to be a reason that only the thought of will elicit a strong emotional response.

Ideally you should have two reasons. One must involve all of the great things that will happen once you’ve achieved your goal, list all of these great things and give them a positive emotional strength. The other should involve all of the things that will happen if you don’t achieve your goal, give all of those bad things a negative emotional strength so when you think of what will happen if you fail it instantly motivates you succeed.

January 2, 2010

10 Tips to Boost Your Self-esteem

Filed under: Development Plans — Tags: , , , , , , , , — admin @ 1:03 am

Perhaps one of the most important things for being successful in life is the amount of self-esteem and confidence you have. It is something you should pursue actively. Unfortunately most of us look at the outside indicators like how people react to something we say or do and we forget that these outside indicators are influenced by who reacts to us and what experiences and expectations they have. Because we have no influence on that it is necessary to build our self-esteem from the inside out. Once we know our worth and who we are the outside world will adjust.

Following are ten tips how you can improve your self-esteem: 1. Know your strength

What aspects of your self do you like? What are you already good at? What are your strength? Come up with at least 10 positive attributes before proceeding to the next step. Keep this list on you at all times and read it each time you feel lowly. 2. Be positive and optimistic.

Do you know the song: “Always look on the bright side of life”? Start living these words and stop thinking negatively about where you are today. Instead look at all the things you have already achieved in your life and visualize (dream) of everything that is still to come. 3. Develop an attitude of gratitude.

Every night and every morning say thanks for all you already have and for the special things that have happened in the last 24 hours. You will be surprised how much there is to be grateful for. Even when life seems glum you can be grateful for being alive, having a roof over your head, enough food to eat, clean water to drink etc. We all have so much already but we take most things for granted. Take this exercise serious because it can really change your life. 4. Set SMART goals for all your plans.

Write your goals, dreams and desires down in as much detail as possible. Then prioritize them and start working on your number one goal immediately by breaking it down into small, achievable steps. Go through your list of goals and steps every single day until it has become a new habit. Tick off and celebrate each achievement.5. Be proactive.

Do not wait for things to happen, instead make things happen. Fuel your motivation and determination by imagining what it will be like when you have achieved what you aim at achieving. Let other people know about your plans and in what aspect they can help you. 6. Make each person feel that she/he is significant.

High self-esteem means you feel good about yourself. Helping other people feel good about themselves will also bolster your confidence and by making the people around you feel significant you will eventually see amazing results – in your life and in theirs. 7. Mix with the right people.

Sometimes it is necessary to improve your circle of influence. Join social clubs or organizations like Lions, Kiwanis, business networks etc. in which you are likely to find successful, confident people. Good social contacts can give you further assurance.8. Find balance in life.

Indulging in sports or hobbies can help improve your self-confidence. Likewise, it can help you maintain good health. Good health leads to a sound body and a healthy mind. A sound body and a healthy mind play a major role in improving your self-esteem and gaining balance in life. 9. Learn from your failures.

We all have failures and disappointments which frequently result in low self-esteem. When our goals and objectives are not met, we get frustrated and can become negative about our capabilities. None of this helps. What differentiates the winners from the losers is the speed at which they get up again and what they learn from their failures. Failures and disappointments are part of life and the best way to overcome them is by learning the lessons they offer us. 10. Enroll in self-improvement seminars and/or life coaching.

If you don’t know where to begin, a coach or mentor can be very useful. Also emerging yourself in the positive atmosphere of self-improvement seminars can help you find your purpose and gain self-esteem and confidence. Reading self help books and listen to CD programs is useful but the most successful method from the outside is coaching as it gives you someone who holds you accountable.

Improving self-esteem does not happen overnight but if you use these tips you will see positive change happening.

Your improved self-esteem will benefit you in all aspects of your life. You will experience change in your relationships, your career, and most importantly, in your attitude towards yourself.

December 16, 2009

Personal Development Starts With Self Esteem

Filed under: Development Plans — Tags: , , , , , , — admin @ 10:19 pm

If we want to attain any goal, achieve any aim or reach any objective we all know that we need a large amount of confidence. We need confidence in ourselves, the plan we are using and our own abilities to work that plan. However, self confidence is merely a by-product of high self esteem but do we really know what that is or how to get it?

Self esteem begins with a positive self-image. This involves holding a balanced yet loving, approving and healthy self-view. However, it is not arrogance nor is it narcissism. True self esteem gives us a balanced realistic appreciation for our own talents. It allows us honest introspection of our strengths and a complete acceptance of our human limitations. High self esteem is a reflection of the true value in which you hold yourself. It also frees you from any overtly polarised view of others and how you perceive they think of you.

Individuals with high self esteem have a strong sense of themselves. They know who they are and what they want. They have a realistic world view of others and themselves. Their self-image is positive but also very rational.

However, do not think that people with high self esteem always feel great and proud of themselves. Self esteem is about having a balanced view of yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and people with high self-esteem are no exception. They also behave in ways or make decisions that they later wish they hadn’t. The key difference with these people is that they recover quickly make the changes they need to make, apologize for their behaviour where necessary and learn from the experience. Individuals who have developed a healthy degree of self-esteem are able to use these situations as a form of feedback and learn from them. It is alright to feel bad about their behaviour and make atonement for it but they do not let it effect their entire sense of identity nor do they carry it with them as emotional baggage.

If you are rude or aggressive with a person it doesn’t mean you are a terrible person or should be punished in some way. People with high self esteem are aware of this. These people are capable to taking full responsibility for their behaviour, admitting that it was undesirable. They will then try to make the situation “right” before they learn from it and put it behind them. They do not see themselves as bad people, just a good person that made a bad mistake. However, people with low self esteem tend to pile blame on themselves and think themselves unworthy and unlovable because they are “so bad” and “so unworthy and worthless”. They think because they have behaved badly it is a reflection of the total person they are when, in fact, it is only one portion of the complex personality they have. If you have high self esteem and you exhibit behaviour you yourself don’t like you tend to work on the problem until you either eradicate it or reverse it. People with high self esteem can do this relatively easily because they don’t see a change in one aspect of their character as an assault on their whole personality! So they can still have self criticism but also have high self-esteem at the same time.

A key to being in this mental and emotional state is to avoid generalising about mistakes made by ourselves and others, recognising that our weaknesses are part of who we are, while recognising that some of our behaviour can be changed without it affecting our sense of identity!

So start to see yourself as those who love you see you. Ask them what they think. Ask them to be realistic and to point out your good characteristics. Then take stock of yourself and start to believe in yourself. You can develop the skills needed to be critical of yourself, in order to learn and grow, while at the same time realizing that you are a unique, special, loving yet slightly flawed child of the Universe. You are wonderful. Accept that!

The Secrets of Goal Setting and Personal Development

Filed under: Development Plans — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , — admin @ 12:01 pm

Personal success happens when we make the right decision at the right time. Most of us have an idea of the type of person we would like to be, but few of us take the time to turn this into a reality. A lack of perspective is often the biggest reason for this. People tend to take their lives for granted, which is a shame when we think about the good we can do for our lives when we think about them. Having a goal is great because it injects purpose into our lives. You may already have a broad idea of a goal you would like to achieve. If this is the case, then now is the point to turn it into something specific. For instance, if you are looking to lose weight think about how much weight you would like to lose and in what time. The brain works best when it receives clear instructions. If you were asked to do something vague by your boss at work you would ask them to clarify what they mean. A specific goal is a clear instruction.   A measure of self awareness is essential in critical decision making. After all if we do not feel in control of ourselves then how can we expect to take control over our own destiny and circumstance?  As with any other extreme though an extreme amount of self awareness can be detrimental. It can cause us to be too fearful of the consequence of tasking action. In addition, what we shall call ‘extreme self awareness’  can lead us to being overly judgemental of our experiences and actions. So how do we get the balance right? Well fortunately help is at hand.Self awareness is the key to taking the correct initiative. If we are confident and honest with ourselves, then naturally it follows that we will take action that is balanced between knowledge and a desire to get things done. Rash decision making  should be replaced with calm rational and decisive  action.  The difference between success and failure can be made in a snap decision.  By being self aware you are conscious of your own skills and your limitations. It is important to not confuse confidence with arrogance. If you are planning a new business venture make sure you have done as much research as possible. Make your goal a calculated risk. Ignorance is the enemy of success. What is even worse than ignorance is self enforced ignorance. This is self induced ignorance brought about by a reluctance to challenge existing knowledge and look for alternatives. Being able to find an alternative solution to a problem is what creates innovation and competition. Without this key asset we wouldn’t have different companies or products. This is why you must maintain an open mind combined with self awareness to get your goal setting spot on.There are unhelpful character traits that will inhibit a successful outcome to initiative taking. One of the first things you need to eliminate is any elements of procrastination from your character. If you are the sort of person who says ‘it can wait till next week ‘frequently then this applies to you.  The reason why this is so important is that your mind set directly effects your behaviour and daily habits. Even being lazy towards somewhat trivial things in a business can have a corrosive effect on your  overall attitude. Taking control of your life is the key to securing long term success. Regardless of whether we were born rich or poor we all have the ability to manage our lives in a way to ensures we reach our true potential . The refrain ‘It was due to circumstances beyond my control’  is a commonly used excuse among people.  The problem with excuses such as these is that they are defeatist. Rather than getting us to look for solutions to our problems, they encourage us  to accept our fate as if we were helpless. The truth is that when it comes to dealing with the circumstances that affect us in our daily lives, that we are happy to deal with the good but not so content to deal with the bad. This might seem an obvious point but the most successful people are not only able to triumph over adversity but are able to draw strength from it. Personal development will help you to become like this sort of person

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